Literary Inspirations: Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver, who left us in 2019, was an American poet who won the Pulitzer Prize in 1984 for her book American Primitive, and the National Book Award in 1992.

Her poetry is widely quoted, in particular this line from her poem The Summer Day – “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

I recently read the transcript of a podcast episode Mary Oliver did with Krista Tippett in February 2015 as part of the On Being Project.

In the episode, these two women cover a wide range of topics, but what stood out to me the most, as a writer, were some valuable tips on building and maintaining a writing practice.

I’ve used direct quotes from the poet herself:
🖋️ “Discipline is very important. We have to have an appointment, to have that work out on the page, because the creative part of us gets tired of waiting, or just gets tired.”
🖋️ “When you write a poem, you write it for anybody and everybody. It’s a gift to yourself, but it’s a gift to anybody who has a hunger for it.”
🖋️ “If you can say it in a few lines, you’re just decorating for the rest of it, unless you can make something more intense. But if you said what you want to say, you’re not going to make it more intense. You’re just going to repeat yourself.”
🖋️ “Lord knows, when I started writing poetry, it was rotten. But I kept at it, kept at it, kept at it. I used to say, with my pencil I’ve traveled to the moon and back, probably a few times. I kept at it, every day. And finally, you learn things.”

Mary Oliver published over 25 books of poetry and prose, including Dream Work, A Thousand Mornings, and A Poetry Handbook. Her final work, Devotions, is a collection of poetry from her more than 50-year career, curated by the poet herself.

If you would like to read the full transcript of their conversation, which I thoroughly recommend, here’s the link: https://onbeing.org/programs/mary-oliver-i-got-saved-by-the-beauty-of-the-world

From Conscientiousness to Perfectionism: A Thin Line

I pride myself on being conscientious. I’m sure many of you do too.

It’s generally considered a good thing to be organised, dependable and driven to achieve.

It helps us to perform better professionally, earn higher incomes and even experience better long-term health, probably because we’re more consistent about habits like exercising, eating well and following through on responsibilities.

But, is there such a thing as being -too- conscientious? Or being -too- responsible?

Psychology says yes:
° Conscientiousness becomes problematic when it turns into rigid perfectionism.
° Praise and reinforcement often shape overachievement and overcontrol.

How can we stop this from happening?
° Small shifts toward flexibility can improve both performance and well-being. The world doesn’t collapse when things are imperfect.
° The goal is not to stop caring; it’s to stop treating every task like it carries equal weight. Direct your energy more intentionally.

The aim is to achieve excellence without exhaustion:
• Set boundaries
• Delegate more
• Allow less important tasks to remain imperfect
• Be more selective about where your energy goes

If you’d like to learn more about healthy coping mechanisms, pick up a copy of my second book The Healthy Perfectionist:
https://africanbookscollective.com/books/the-healthy-perfectionist

Source • psychologytoday.com

In Personal News: I Have a Website 🌐

Would you like to know a bit more about me and what I do?

My new website, created in partnership with the amazing 9stack Hosting Team, has:

⚜️ Information about my personal and professional activities

⚜️ My articles about a variety of topics, from lifestyle to publishing to women’s issues

⚜️ Photos from my debut art exhibition hosted by Didi Museum Foundation

⚜️ Information about my offerings including commissioned writing, commissioned art and project consultations

So, without further ado, please click the link to explore my new website and if you want to work with me, send me an email:

🌐 https://komeotobo.com

Blue-Sky or Granular: Strategic Thinking

Some people are good at blue-sky thinking – thinking creatively without self-imposed limits that hold you back.

Some people are good at granular thinking – breaking down complex ideas/data/problems into their tiniest parts (grains) to gain a deeper, more precise understanding.

To truly excel, it’s important to be good at both.

All of my current engagements – project management, writing, art, board membership, portfolio management – tap into my ability to see the bigger picture and the smallest details at the same time.

Cultivating my sense of curiosity, having confidence in my ideas and protecting my mental downtime are 3 ways that I’ve freed myself from traditional constraints, leading to ever-increasing returns on my career progress.

❕ Which type of thinking are you better at? Blue-sky or Granular? And which do you need to work on?

Negotiation: It’s a Two-Way Street

The art of negotiation lies in ensuring that both parties leave the table feeling good about what has been agreed.

Yes, it’s important to achieve one’s goals, but it’s just as important to preserve and honour the relationships underlying the transaction.

Whether we realise it or not, we negotiate everyday, in our personal and business lives.

We have to reframe negotiation as a problem-solving exercise involving emotions, not as a battle with winners and losers.

I read an insightful article in which Stanford Graduate School of Business Professor Emeritus Maggie Neale talked about what she has learned in her decades of researching negotiation.

These are her tips on how to approach negotiations with intention:

🤝🏾 The perspective you bring to the conversation frames how you interact and evaluate the other person, and yourself.
🤝🏾 Don’t prioritise the agreement over the quality of deal – you should be in a better position afterwards than when you started.
🤝🏾 There’s no command and control in negotiation. No-one can be forced to say yes so all that you can do is present a favourable proposal.
🤝🏾 The proposal has to be presented as a solution to a problem that the other person has.
🤝🏾 Be ready to walk away but make sure you have a good alternative first.

❕Remember the 3 ingredients that go into a successful communication recipe – Concern for the other person, Concern for yourself and the Willingness to be open to a potential better path.

Source • gsb.stanford.edu

Of Decolonised Minds, African Perspectives & Indigenous Pathways

One of the most meaningful consequences of writing a book that explores Nigerian and African traditional religions, Nigerian and African spirituality, the enduring effects of colonialism and the transatlantic slave trade, and that raises questions about the decolonisation of minds, the existing structures centred around the major Abrahamic faiths, and what it means to be truly invested in your African country of origin, is connecting with people who are thinking/talking/reading about similar topics.

I’ve lost count of the number of people who have approached me wanting to discuss these issues, and each time I’ve been pleasantly surprised and honoured by the width and depth of our conversations.

I must admit that when Nigerian Gods was published in 2022, I was worried about how it would be received, especially in Nigeria where Christianity and Islam are the two dominant religions. But, as it turns out, my fears were largely unfounded.

There is a definite trend towards Nigerians starting to ask more questions about our history, our culture, our heritage – and why many of our deep-rooted traditional beliefs have been abandoned, suppressed and in some cases, simply forgotten due to the passage of time and the passing of our elders.

I received an invitation to an event taking place on Wednesday 13 May 2026 at the 25th edition of the Nigeria International Book Fair. It’s a press conference and presentation of an anthology titled Living Sustainably Here: African Perspectives on the SDGs. Volume 1 is titled Paths to Knowledge: Production, Access, Literacy & Sustainable Development. Volume 2 is titled Our Digital Lives and Indigenous Pathways. Volume 3 is titled Africa Under Pressure: Literature, Energy, Equity, Justice & Security.

Published by Selina Publications, Volume 1 will be presented in print at the event, while Volumes 2 and 3 are currently in preview. They will be discussed and read from, but not released until July/August 2026.

If you’re in Lagos, this is a wonderful opportunity to get involved in this rapidly evolving ecosystem, and to enjoy the newly renovated National Theatre, now known as the Wole Soyinka Centre for Culture and Creative Arts.

In Personal News: A Beautiful Review of my Debut Art Exhibition 🎨

In late March 2026, I debuted as an artist at the REBIRTH Exhibition, hosted by Didi Museum Foundation. The full title is REBIRTH: Weaving Worlds of Forgotten Faiths, Fractured Realities and Gender Journeys, and I exhibited alongside a second artist called C.O. Kola-Lawal.

This was my first series of 8 artworks, and one of the underlying messages they contain is the eternal rhythm of destruction and rebirth as reflected in the cyclical nature of human history. This series is guided by the research carried out for my first book Nigerian Gods.

I experimented with geometric art, combined with motifs sourced from Nigerian culture and the traditional religions of the Isoko, Ìtsẹkírì, Urhobo and Yorùbá ethnic groups – my heritage – using the ancient framework of mandalas. Mandalas are Buddhist devotional images taken as symbols of an ideal universe and they come in many forms, often recreated through painting, 3D models and powdered sand.

I chose to work in 2D, with graphite, clay, pigment and inks, and I chose mandalas to deliver my artistic message because they are symbolic representations of wholeness, timelessness and unity. They are also visual representations of how humanity’s future is interwoven with respect for Nature, a fact that is often forgotten as we witness environmental destruction in Nigeria and across the world.

I received some truly deep and meaningful feedback on my exhibition, but one of the reviews stood out, because it came from someone I respect and look up to in terms of creativity and open-mindedness. His name is Ferdinand (Ferdy) Adimefe and it is my pleasure to share his review with you.

Ferdy’s Review

I stepped into “Rebirth: Weaving Worlds of Forgotten Faiths, Fractured Realities & Gender Journeys”… and walked out with a deeper reverence for what it means to create from the soul of a people.

At the center of it is Kome Otobo, and what she is building is not just art.

It is language.
It is memory.
It is restoration.
It is advocacy.

Kome’s work carries a rare intelligence, both precise and expansive. You feel her discipline in the geometry, the symmetry, the intentionality, but you also feel something older, deeper, almost ancestral moving through it.

She draws from across worlds; Isoko, Ìtsẹkírì, Urhobo, Yorùbá into a living conversation about:
• identity and becoming
• loss and restoration
• the tension between perfection and imperfection

This is not art for decoration. This is art for awakening.

Kome Otobo’s work feels like a bridge, between cultures, between histories, between the inner and outer worlds. I took two friends Josh Egesi and Milton Tutu, as well as my 3 boys. I want to them start interacting with depth early enough.

If you’re in Lagos, take the time. Sit with the work. Let it speak. Some exhibitions you attend. Some you experience. This is one of them.”

I’ll share other reviews shortly, but I absolutely wanted to start with this one. I’m sure you can understand why.

In Personal News: Nigerian Gods The Audiobook 🎧

My first book Nigerian Gods is going to be released as an audiobook soon, which I’m very happy about.

Chapter 1 of Nigerian Gods: The Audiobook, produced by Aniyota Media, is now available on YouTube. You can listen to it for free.

This is where the story begins; an exploration of belief, culture & the systems shaping how people understand the world.

Chapter 1 is about the history of the Hausa ethnic group: culture, way of life, traditional religious beliefs & the impact of the introduction of Christianity & Islam.

Narrated by me!

Please give it a listen & I hope you enjoy it.

Synergy: The Importance of One-on-One Sessions

Once you enter the world of work, you quickly realise that professional success depends on the strength of your relationships.

These internal and external relationships have to be nurtured – they don’t grow on their own.

You also have to be ready to advocate for yourself if you wish to progress within your career.

❕ One-on-one sessions with your manager are an invaluable way to ensure that you’re seen as someone who can operate at a senior level.

❕ There are 5 key phrases you can use to position yourself as a high performer:

◽ ‘First, let me share progress since we last talked’
▫️ Start by talking about what you’ve accomplished since your last meeting and why it matters.
▫️ What you share here is often passed up the chain, making it easier to gain visibility with decision-makers.

◽ ‘One thing I could use your perspective on is…’
▫️ This phrase positions you as a partner to your manager, not just someone who takes orders.
▫️ It shows you’re thinking critically about challenges and taking initiative to solve them, which is the kind of behaviour that gets people promoted.

◽ ‘What are you hearing from leadership?’
▫️ Most people only talk about their own work in one-on-ones. Turn the tables and ask what’s happening at senior management level.
▫️ When you engage in a thoughtful conversation about strategy and the things leaders care most about, you set yourself apart from peers.

◽ ‘That’s something I’d love to get involved with’
▫️ Your promotion isn’t decided at your performance review. It’s decided in the months leading up to it.
▫️ This phrase is a subtle but powerful way to make it known that you’re interested in — and ready for — additional responsibilities.

◽ ‘To recap, I’ll do [A] and [B]. I’ll look for [X] and [Y] from you’
▫️ Ending one-on-ones with a non-committal, “Sounds good, talk next week,” is how things fall through the cracks and plans aren’t actioned.
▫️ Instead, close with accountability. Summarise what each of your action items are.

❕ One-on-ones are extremely useful so don’t treat them like throwaway meetings or just a status report.

❕ Use this time to connect your work to the organisation’s business goals and to uncover stretch projects you wouldn’t hear about otherwise.

Source • cnbc.com

Legal Jargon: From Ab initio to Caveat emptor

I don’t often talk about my legal training on here, but I’m trying something different, starting with explaining some of the common legal terms we may come across in daily life.

Many people glaze over when it comes to reading the small print of a contract, or skim through the lengthy terms and conditions that seem to accompany online purchases these days.

But, it’s important to be comfortable with basic legal words and phrases so you can protect your rights, if needed.

Here’s a selection of legal language that you may find helpful:

⚖️ Ab initio
In Latin, this translates to ‘from the beginning.’ Commonly used to describe the time when a contract, statute, marriage or deed first became legal.

⚖️ Act of God
A natural catastrophe that occurs beyond human control, for which no one can be held responsible. Dates back to the 13th century and was used to refer to acts that God had undertaken. Now, it’s mostly used in relation to the force majeure clause, where an event releases the parties from their contractual obligations.

⚖️ Affidavit
A written statement confirmed by oath or affirmation, made before someone who is officially authorised to administer oaths.

⚖️ Caveat emptor
In Latin, this translates to ‘let the buyer beware.’ Refers to the principle that the buyer is responsible for checking the product before he/she purchases it.

⚖️ Contract
A legally binding agreement between 2 or more parties. It outlines the rights and obligations of each party involved. Contracts can be verbal or written, but a written contract is always preferable as it provides clear evidence of the agreement.

⚖️ Force majeure
In French, this translates to ‘superior force.’ Refers to a type of clause in a contract which releases parties from their contractual obligations where an unforeseeable and extraordinary event occurs, that makes carrying out the contract either impossible or radically different from the original intention.

⚖️ Jurisdiction
The power of a court to hear and decide on a case. May be determined based on the subject matter (criminal or civil), the amount of money, or geography, for example.

⚖️ Liability
Liability means legal responsibility. If someone is found liable, they are responsible for the damages caused, and they may have to provide compensation.

⚖️ Negligence
Negligence is the failure to exercise reasonable care, resulting in harm to others. A common basis for personal injury lawsuits.

⚖️ Plaintiff and Defendant
In a legal case, the plaintiff is the person bringing the lawsuit, while the defendant is the person being sued. Think of the plaintiff as the accuser and the defendant as the one who needs to defend themselves.

❕Legal literacy impacts our decision-making.

❕It’s a collective goal for lawyers and non-lawyers to reduce misunderstandings that can have significant legal consequences.

Source • asialawnetwork.com & wylieandwashburn.com